Friday, 9 September 2016

My summer off....



*Waves*

I'm still here, I hope you are still here despite being MIA for the summer?


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I've been here in the blogging world before.

Many moons ago, after the birth of my first born, I had a blog.

And I really quite enjoyed it. 

It filled the times I needed something to do when she was sleeping & I was avoiding the house work & it gave me back a little bit of  a social life, albeit a different kind of social life to that I had lost. 

An online social life.

But after being fairly successful (by my own standards, not other bloggers), it all came crashing down.

I found myself obsessed. Everything I did was about or for the blog. I spent all evening on twitter, just in case I missed anything and became bogged down with stats and reviews.

In hindsight now, I sat all night on twitter because my (then) husband was away "working" 
(I use the term very loosely!) all night or just not very good company.

It lost its fun appeal and the children got older and needed more and more attention and it all just fizzled into oblivion.

Then when I had my third, I craved for something to fill my time yet again. So again, I found myself venturing into the blogging world.

But this time I wanted it to be different. I had learnt my lesson first time around.

I decided that I would not do anything blog related in the evenings - be that tweeting or writing or whatever. 

I have a lovely fiance here, that I love spending my evenings with & I wasn't going to change that. And I certainly didn't want blogging to take over my time with the children.

This time around, I was limiting myself to blog in nap times.

I also decided I would keep this blog more anonymous.

I shared my life first time around and shared all of my posts with friends and family to read but always felt that I had to hold certain bits back because of who might be reading. I had to only put out the good stuff because of what 'real-life people' might think of me.

It all just meant that I was no longer blogging for me, I was blogging what I thought people wanted me to say.

And I also decided, I would not get bogged down with reviews. 

First time around, they were fun to begin with. Who doesn't like a freebie? But when you've said yes to ten different items all with the same deadline, you're being chased  by PR's and you are having to spend hours of your day photographing and writing about a £3 item, it soon loses it's appeal.

This time around I was going to be much more selective.

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Then in June/ July, I felt like the same thing was beginning to happen. I felt bogged down by it all. 

Stats were good. Very good. And I was edging ever closer to the top 500 on the Tots100.

But what bothered me is that I was bothered!

The school holidays were upon us and I just thought, 'd'you know what? I'm going to spend this time with my kids'.

In the summer, I just want to be out and about enjoying the sun. I don't want to be cooped up inside writing. Winter is definitely the time I tend to write more - snuggled up on the sofa with a cuppa. But then I think people tend to read more in the winter too?

My blogging time is restricted to nap times, and the older two (obvs) don't nap so when was I going to get it done? I wasn't prepared to compromise my time with them and my time in the evenings. Blogging really isn't worth that.

Yes, my stats and Tots100 position have fallen. But I see it as a temporary thing. I got my stats up quickly before & I'm sure I can get them there again soon.

I didn't once check my stats. I didn't go on twitter. 

And it felt good. 

I had a great summer & we have some great memories.

I did keep up with instagram, and many of our memories are documented over there if you fancy a nose!


Although, I'm not very much friends with Instagram at the moment! My blogging account is linked to my personal one, and somehow it decided to tell all of my personal friends that I had a second account. 

I had an influx of friends and family following my blogging account. (Hello to any reading this!!)

And so now, any anonymity has completely gone out of the window and the two worlds I wanted to keep separate have now, once again, become merged.

Luckily, I haven't posted anything I don't want people I know to see but I just feel a bit cringe about it. 

I can happily type away gibberish to nobody in particular. But feel so conscious of every word I write when I know it is being read by actual real-life people.

I guess that is something I am going to have to get used to now.

~~~~~~~~~~

So anyway, I just wanted to say, I'm back.

And I'm happy normality has resumed!





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